By Syed M. Aslam
July 15 - 21, 2002



*** "I AM INVOLVED. I mean, I'm involved in the military plan, diplomatic planning, financial planning-all aspects of reviewing all the tools at my disposal."

(US President George W. Bush vowing to use "all tools" to oust Iraqi President Saddam Hussain)

*** "THIS IS WHAT we get from the Americans. There is a new bride buried here. Do the Americans care? They will be punished."

(Afghan women cursing the US at the grave of a bride killed by US air raids on a wedding party which killed hundreds of people)


(Indian presidential candidate Dr A. P. J. Abdul Kalam saying that he has no plans to change his hairdo, the unruly cascading locks)

*** "PALESTINIANS call us ZNN, for Zionist News Network."

(Host of five-part series on the CNN news channel on the victims of suicide bombers, Wolf Blitzer, commenting on angry reaction by Palestinians against its pro-Israeli coverage)

*** "TUESDAY IS NOT a good day to start any new work. And as finance is governed by Mercury, Wednesday is a better day for the finance minister in any case. The foreign affairs office is governed by Jupiter..."

(Unidentified astrologer explaining why the swearing-in ceremony of India's new finance and foreign minister, Jaswant Singh and Yashwant Sinha who trade offices, were postponed for a day)

*** "THANK GOD for my blessings."

(Disgraced former First Lady of Philippines, Imelda Marcos, who celebrated her 73rd birthday twice. The opportunities provided her a chance to showcase her magnificent jewellery collection)

*** "WE ARE GOING to have a transformation that makes us economically and politically accountable to ourselves. So we don't need to have foreigners telling us the standards by which we should live anymore."

(Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni speaking at the two-day summit held in Durban, South Africa. The summit, attended by at least 40 presidents and heads of state, will discuss replacing Organisation of African Unity (OAU) with a new organization, African Union)

*** "A US PATENT has been granted to Indian scientists on the use of cow urine distillate as bio-enhancer."

(Indian Minister of Science and Technology, Murli Manohar Joshi, excitedly announcing the patenting rights granted to Indian scientists for using cow urine for medicinal purposes)

*** "MY HARD WORK and efforts are the reason behind my success..."

(Abdulsamad Moosa, a 42-year-old UAE national, expressing joy at passing his English exam after almost two decades. He, however, failed in Math and will have to take the examination again to qualify for his high school diploma)

*** "... REPORTS SAY even at the Godhra station they [Hindu militants] misbehaved with the predominantly Muslim hawkers. It is safe to conclude that had they not done what they did, the Gujarat riots would not have taken place at all... It is wrong to blame the Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) of Pakistan ..."

(Senior vice-president of Lok Janshakti Party, which pulled out of the BJP-led ruling alliance, Ramvir Singh Bidhuri, commenting on the report which said that the torching of a train was orchestrated by Hindu militants to provide them with a pretext to start communal violence which claimed lives of hundreds of Muslims in India)

*** "THERE IS NO REAL friendship between Filipinos and the Americans. There can be no friendship in a relationship between a master and a slave."

(Head of the Alliance of Concerned Teachers, one of the groups which held a protest rally on the American Friendship Day by marching on the US embassy in Manila)

*** "... people like Baroness Thatcher were the cause of capitalism and global problems, which meant the world was in danger of suffering irreparable damage."

(Prosecutor John Gilbert saying that London theatre producer, Paul Kelleher who beheaded the statue of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher as a protest against global capitalism, intends to use his trial to highlight his concerns about the future of the world and future of his two-year-old son)