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By Syed M.Aslam
July 08 - 14, 2002

*** "PEOPLE HAVE STARTED to put blue contact lenses into their eyes and bleach their hair blond for job interviews."

(Chairman of the European Network Against Racism, Bashy Quraishy, commenting on the introduction of the toughest immigration laws in Europe by Denmark)

*** "YOU HAVE to have the voice of a street-corner rabble rouser or the training of a lawyer or both. I have neither."

(The 38th maharaja of the once princely state of Marawn-Jodhpur, Gaj Singh II explaining why he has never been drawn to politics like some other Indian blue-bloods despite being a ambassador and member of upper house of parliament)

*** "BUT 10 YEARS ago, when it all went wrong we had to find a way to survive. We were no longer of use to anyone. And we had to think what to do to save our dolphins."

(Head of science at Russian oceanography institute which used to train dolphins to spy to guard the communist's regime most strategic bay in Sevastopol. The dolphins are now used for therapy to soothe certain ailments)

*** "... I HAVE STRONG opinions about Britain's current situation and I feel that in a time when public debate is being suppressed, even something as trivial as a pop song can be a good thing."

(British singing idol George Michael admitting that his latest song 'Shoot the Dog', is a political satire. The cartoon video shows US President Bush on the White House lawn petting a smiling poodle-shaped British Prime Minister Tony Blair)

*** "THE CITY OF CALGARY is spending $300,000 (U.S.$200,000) to throw this (party), and that money could have been better spent on the homeless or the environment."

(One of the anti-globalisation protestors denouncing the costly G-8 meeting held in Canada recently)

*** "THE ONLY REASON there is peace and order in Davao is because of me. I don't use tracer bullets. If I'm going out, I'm going out with my guns blazing."

(Gun-packing Mayor of southern Philippines city of Davao, Rodrigo Duterte, who goes around the city at night twice a week on his motorcycle to 'dispense swift justice')

*** "I DON'T WANT CONDOLENCES, I want congratulations. We love martyrdom as much as Israel loves the fantasy life it is leading."

(Mother of 19-year Palestinian suicide bomber Mohammed expressing her jubilation over his martyrdom)

*** "ALL OF US are just like plants. We are based on a branching architecture."

(Paediatric transplant surgeon and the leader of research team from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Joseph P. Vacanti, commenting on a successful experiment to grow human organs in the laboratory)

*** "IF I HAD to do it all over again, I'd just let it rip. To hell with the polls, tactics and all the rest."

(Former US Vice President and the unsuccessful Democratic presidential candidate, Al Gore, indicating that he will run again and would shed constraints of polls, tactics and consultants that marred his 2000 campaign)

*** "MY HARD WORK and efforts are the reason behind my success..."

(Abdulsamad Moosa, a 42-year-old UAE national, expressing joy at passing his English exam after almost two decades. He, however, failed in Math and will have to take the examination again to qualify for his high school diploma)

*** "I'M SURE you understand that the Mercedes was a gift, and our policies are not made on the basis of gifts."

(South African foreign minister Dr Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma commenting on presentation of an armour-plated Mercedes to President Thabo Mbeki as gift by Libyan President Colonel Muammar Qaddafi)

*** "DOCTORS ARE NOT working on a production line, they are providing individual care for individual patients. Patients want more time with their doctors and quality care must not be compromised in favour of greater productivity."

(Chairman of British Medical Association, Dr Ian Bogle, accusing the government of treating the doctors like factory workers by pressurizing them to increase output at the expense of patient care)