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By Syed M.Aslam
 July 16 - 22, 2001

*** "I STILL HAVEN"T woken up from this dream... but how can I? I haven't even been to sleep yet."

(Wildcard entrant Goran Ivanisevic after winning the Wimbledon singles title)

*** "THE RINE IN SPINE FELL MINELY ON THE PLINE."

(Malaysian Premier Mahathir Mohamad quoting Henry Higgins' famous tutorial to ridicule Australians and accusing the English-speaking world for forcing its language on the East)

*** "THE ZIONIST regime of Israel relies on its defence industry for survival and these merchants of war will never permit the civil war in our beloved motherland to cease."

(Sri Lanka's main Muslim party, Muslim Congress, condemning the appointment of Israel's first ambassador in 31 years and accusing President Chandrika Kumaratunga of using the ties to pursue war)

*** "HONG KONG IS TIRED of being held to ransom. The time has come for prompt and resolute action."

(Director of corporate development Cathay Pacific Airways announcing sacking of 49 pilots and imposing new pay and package unilaterally to put an end to increasingly bitter labour dispute which disrupted planning plans of thousands of air travelers)

*** "I'LL WELCOME HIM with open arms and kiss his forehead. He is the lost son who is returning home."

(Anaro Kashmiro, octogenarian maid, anxiously awaiting Pakistan's President General Pervez Musharraf who she remembers as a four year old child in Delhi before his family migrated to Pakistan in 1947)

*** "I HAVE LANDED THE PLANE TODAY."

(Words uttered by a female friend who was helped by a PIA pilot to fly and land domestic flight PK-584 at the Lahore Airport)

*** "ONCE THEY ACHIEVE this, I have no doubt that soon this team will become a really great side."

(Manager of Pakistan cricket team, Yawar Saeed, recommending attachment of a psychologist to help overcome lack of 'mentally toughness')

*** "WE HAVE NEVER seen anything quite like it. Not even when Bill Clinton visited India ... For the moment India has gone Musharraf mad."

(Un-named Delhi-based Western Diplomat describing India's preparations for Pakistani President General Pervez Musharraf's visit)

*** "TECHNOLOGY CREATORS in the private sector respond to the needs of high-income consumers, rather than the needs of those who have little purchasing power."

(UN's Human Development Report 2001 noting that most of the potential benefits of technology actually bypass poor people, because of a lack of market demand and inadequate public funding)

*** "THE COUNTRY is on the threshold of a legal and political revolution, the consequences of which are in less dangerous than what we've seen in the past.'

(Head of Colombo-based Centre for Policy Alternatives, Pakiasothy Saravanamuttu, commenting on Sri Lanka's much criticised constitution allowing the president the power to call a referendum or to suspend the parliament. Each provision has already been used once in the past to cling to power, most recent being suspension of parliament by President Kumaratunga to stall a no-confidence move)

*** "MY JOB IS TO DEFEND the constitution and if necessary, I will stay at the palace all by myself if I'm forced to do so."

(Beleaguered Indonesian President Abdurrahman Wahid vowing not to leave the presidential palace even if he was impeached)

*** "A PRESIDENT SHOULD NOT WISH TO HEAR ONLY SWEET WORDS."

(South Korean President Kim Dae Jung's 1998 speech stressing the importance of a vibrant and sharp-tongued press. Dae is accused by the opposition to crush media opponents of his controversial 'Sunshine Policy' of engagement with North Korea)

** "ENGINES do not have to be tuned or adjusted. Furthermore, the new fuel also reduces air pollution."

(Governor of state-owned Petroleum Authority of Thailand on the debut of alternative car fuel 'palm diesel')

*** "INDIAN INSTITUTES train people at a very small cost and then we end up losing highly qualified professionals to the U.S. where the education is very expensive. A poor country like India is subsidising the U.S. education system and economy."

(Indian IT minister Pramod Mahajan reacting to the findings of a UN report which says that the country is losing $ 2 billion annually through the brain drain of 100,000 skilled computer professionals to US alone)